| After 3 years of marriage, it was obvious that the | | | | things better and our relationship was still so young. |
| honeymoon period was over. In fact, it had been for | | | | Our marriage counselor applauded us for seeking him |
| quite some time. My wife and I had hit a plateau in | | | | out early, saying that the fact that we are taking the |
| our relationship, and it had become apparent that our | | | | initiative now meant that not only would our marriage |
| communication skills were diminishing. Whether it was | | | | last, it would flourish. |
| her taking things the wrong way or me not appearing | | | | Other couples have asked us what we learned in |
| to be listening, it seemed like there was always some | | | | relationship counseling that has made us so much |
| sort of foul exchange or misunderstanding that would | | | | stronger. I guess the most important things I learned |
| disquiet the beasts within. | | | | were how to communicate more effectively and |
| Granted, we hadn't been married long, but both of us | | | | how to let my wife know that I hear what she's |
| came to understand the importance of nurturing our | | | | saying. My wife would say that she is learning to let |
| union in its early phases by correcting little problems | | | | go of her defensiveness by being calmly responsive |
| before they grew into parasites that slowly sucked | | | | rather than reactive. We both learned how negative |
| the life out of our marriage. The fact of the matter | | | | interactive patterns, if left to "ferment", could cause |
| is, we loved each other so much that no matter how | | | | ongoing power struggles. When egos get in the way |
| bad things got, we knew we would stick it out. We | | | | and understandings aren't reached over time, couples |
| are both passionate people, but sometimes that | | | | tend to sway back and forth between getting angry |
| passion is channeled into anger and frustration. One | | | | and withdrawing, distancing and pursuing. |
| thing we could agree upon, however, was that we | | | | If both parties can learn, however, how to build |
| needed marriage counseling. | | | | solutions collaboratively to strengthen their |
| My wife and I began a search for Raleigh, NC | | | | connection, they will experience more intimacy and |
| marriage counselors. It didn't take us long to find | | | | understanding. Once my wife and I learned this, we |
| someone we felt immediately comfortable with, who | | | | were finally able to put "problem talk" aside and work |
| had the skills and background to help us meet our | | | | on creating good times. If you live in or around |
| goals. The process started off well and followed a | | | | Raleigh, NC, marriage counseling is available from a |
| smooth course thereafter. I think my wife and I had | | | | number of qualified professionals convenient to the |
| an advantage in that we both wanted to make | | | | area. |