| After 3 years of marriage, it was obvious | | | | make things better and our relationship was |
| that the honeymoon period was over. In fact, | | | | still so young. Our marriage counselor |
| it had been for quite some time. My wife and | | | | applauded us for seeking him out early, |
| I had hit a plateau in our relationship, and | | | | saying that the fact that we are taking the |
| it had become apparent that our communication | | | | initiative now meant that not only would our |
| skills were diminishing. Whether it was her | | | | marriage last, it would flourish. |
| taking things the wrong way or me not | | | | |
| appearing to be listening, it seemed like | | | | Other couples have asked us what we learned |
| there was always some sort of foul exchange | | | | in relationship counseling that has made us |
| or misunderstanding that would disquiet the | | | | so much stronger. I guess the most important |
| beasts within. | | | | things I learned were how to communicate more |
| | | | effectively and how to let my wife know that |
| Granted, we hadn't been married long, but | | | | I hear what she's saying. My wife would say |
| both of us came to understand the importance | | | | that she is learning to let go of her |
| of nurturing our union in its early phases by | | | | defensiveness by being calmly responsive |
| correcting little problems before they grew | | | | rather than reactive. We both learned how |
| into parasites that slowly sucked the life | | | | negative interactive patterns, if left to |
| out of our marriage. The fact of the matter | | | | "ferment", could cause ongoing power |
| is, we loved each other so much that no | | | | struggles. When egos get in the way and |
| matter how bad things got, we knew we would | | | | understandings aren't reached over time, |
| stick it out. We are both passionate people, | | | | couples tend to sway back and forth between |
| but sometimes that passion is channeled into | | | | getting angry and withdrawing, distancing and |
| anger and frustration. One thing we could | | | | pursuing. |
| agree upon, however, was that we needed | | | | |
| marriage counseling. | | | | If both parties can learn, however, how to |
| | | | build solutions collaboratively to strengthen |
| My wife and I began a search for Raleigh, NC | | | | their connection, they will experience more |
| marriage counselors. It didn't take us long | | | | intimacy and understanding. Once my wife and |
| to find someone we felt immediately | | | | I learned this, we were finally able to put |
| comfortable with, who had the skills and | | | | "problem talk" aside and work on creating |
| background to help us meet our goals. The | | | | good times. If you live in or around Raleigh, |
| process started off well and followed a | | | | NC, marriage counseling is available from a |
| smooth course thereafter. I think my wife and | | | | number of qualified professionals convenient |
| I had an advantage in that we both wanted to | | | | to the area. |