Thinking About Marriage Counseling

After 3 years of marriage, it was obvious that thethings better and our relationship was still so young.
honeymoon period was over. In fact, it had been forOur marriage counselor applauded us for seeking him
quite some time. My wife and I had hit a plateau inout early, saying that the fact that we are taking the
our relationship, and it had become apparent that ourinitiative now meant that not only would our marriage
communication skills were diminishing. Whether it waslast, it would flourish.
her taking things the wrong way or me not appearingOther couples have asked us what we learned in
to be listening, it seemed like there was always somerelationship counseling that has made us so much
sort of foul exchange or misunderstanding that wouldstronger. I guess the most important things I learned
disquiet the beasts within.were how to communicate more effectively and
Granted, we hadn't been married long, but both of ushow to let my wife know that I hear what she's
came to understand the importance of nurturing oursaying. My wife would say that she is learning to let
union in its early phases by correcting little problemsgo of her defensiveness by being calmly responsive
before they grew into parasites that slowly suckedrather than reactive. We both learned how negative
the life out of our marriage. The fact of the matterinteractive patterns, if left to "ferment", could cause
is, we loved each other so much that no matter howongoing power struggles. When egos get in the way
bad things got, we knew we would stick it out. Weand understandings aren't reached over time, couples
are both passionate people, but sometimes thattend to sway back and forth between getting angry
passion is channeled into anger and frustration. Oneand withdrawing, distancing and pursuing.
thing we could agree upon, however, was that weIf both parties can learn, however, how to build
needed marriage counseling.solutions collaboratively to strengthen their
My wife and I began a search for Raleigh, NCconnection, they will experience more intimacy and
marriage counselors. It didn't take us long to findunderstanding. Once my wife and I learned this, we
someone we felt immediately comfortable with, whowere finally able to put "problem talk" aside and work
had the skills and background to help us meet ouron creating good times. If you live in or around
goals. The process started off well and followed aRaleigh, NC, marriage counseling is available from a
smooth course thereafter. I think my wife and I hadnumber of qualified professionals convenient to the
an advantage in that we both wanted to makearea.